Reclaiming Power from Disgust

The Scrunchie Incident: A Lesson in Disgust

I had no idea raising a puppy would also raise my awareness.

One day, my puppy swallowed a huge, pink scrunchie. On purpose. Probably to prove that she didn’t have to obey anything I said. What followed was a few stressful days filled with high-fiber meals and way-too-close inspections of everything she “released” afterward.

The scrunchie finally passed, but something else stuck: disgust. I couldn’t even look at a scrunchie without feeling it crawl across my skin. Pink scrunchies were banned. Permanently.

That’s the power of disgust: it doesn’t just protect. It can limit, label, and silence–especially in midlife, when women already face cultural and internalized messages about what’s “acceptable,” “age-appropriate,” or “too much.”

Disgust Serves a Purpose. Until It Doesn’t

Disgust is a primal emotion. It helps us stay safe. It keeps us from eating spoiled food, repeating painful experiences, or opening ourselves to toxic environments. We all have our own “ew yuck” list:

• Words (moist, anyone?)
  
  
• Sounds (nails on a chalkboard)
  
  
• Smells (hello, morning sickness)
  
  
• People (those who just feel off)
  
  
• Emotions (vulnerability, shame, anger)
  
  

But here’s the thing: disgust doesn’t always tell the whole story.

Sometimes, what we find disgusting is rooted not in danger, but in social conditioning or past trauma. And sometimes, it silences our curiosity and stifles our growth.

When Disgust Turns into Judgment

As Brené Brown warns, “Once a target is viewed with disgust, this judgment seems to be permanent; evaluations of disgust seem to indicate a reprehensible moral character that is immutable and unforgivable.”

In other words, once we slap the disgust label on something—or someone—we stop asking questions. We stop engaging. Worst of all, we stop growing.

This is especially true in midlife. Many women feel disgusted by:

• Their changing bodies
  
  
• Their past decisions
  
  
• Their unmet potential
  
  
• Their anger or assertiveness
  
  
• Their desire to want more
  
  

They stay silent. They shrink. They disappear.

Reclaiming Your Voice with Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence helps us interrupt this cycle of disgust and distancing. It invites us to replace “ew yuck” with informed curiosity.

Here’s how:

• Self-awareness: Notice what triggers disgust in you. Ask, “Where did I learn this response?”
  
  
• Empathy: Put yourself in the shoes of the person or part of yourself you’re judging. What’s the full story here?
  
  
• Self-regulation: Pause before reacting. Choose not to let disgust dictate your response.
  
  
• Mindfulness: Observe your physical reactions without letting them take over.
  
  
• Social skills: Be aware of how your expression of disgust might alienate or harm others.
  
  
• Motivation: Reconnect with your deeper values. Is your response moving you toward or away from growth?
  
  

Rewrite the Script: Disgust Doesn’t Get the Final Word

Your “ew yuck” reaction is just the beginning, not the end, of the story. You get to choose what story you tell next. Will it be one of shrinking? Or one of rising, reclaiming, and rewriting.